After costumes/make-up were added, I HAD to add to my original playlist, a little less for the songs themselves, than for the amazing women singing them - and their style in the corresponding videos.
Big hair, big shoulders. Oh, yeah!
Titus Andronicus opens tonight and I'm proud and excited! After costumes/make-up were added, I HAD to add to my original playlist, a little less for the songs themselves, than for the amazing women singing them - and their style in the corresponding videos. Big hair, big shoulders. Oh, yeah! Joan Jett & the Blackhearts - I Love Rock N RollTina Turner - We Don't Need Another Hero"Jack Frost done lost his mind." It snowed again yesterday, which was the first rehearsal for All's Well That Ends Well with Stage Left Theatre, so this is a double-dip song. This production is mob-inspired, with Chicago, NYC, and Miami as the locales. I can't help myself - every time the director says "Miami", I hear this song and sing to myself "Welcome to Miami!" The Babes With Blades Theatre Company marketing team is in a 'rebuilding' phase and this is the first show where we've had some fresh blood (heh heh!) and strong follow-through on ideas. It's not perfect, but there are new levels of accountability and sharing of responsibility. I'm now the Marketing Director and am hoping to put some plans in place that will be easy to replicate going forward but that's a long process and we won't know how well it goes until after it's done (or will we?). For now though - major props & shout out to the one and only Elyse Dawson. Elyse joined the Babes as an Artistic Associate shortly after our 2014 production of L'Imbecile and has been eager to help with marketing efforts. For Witch Slap!, fellow ensemble member Barb Lhota had created Tarot Cards for a meet the cast campaign on facebook (they were awesome and included a 'Which Tarot Card Are You?" type survey that had been going around facebook. After some brainstorming with the ensemble about the Titus Andronicus story and it's themes, we came up with the idea of Toe Tags for the cast announcement. Elyse put together a short questionnaire about the cast & their respective characters, including how they (might) die & their epitaph. The result was awesome: an image that is compelling along with information that whets the appetite for more - it's pretty well-known that Titus is Shakespeare's bloodiest play so reaffirming that our version would not be shying away from that reputation but that we'd also be finding that dark humor (what's your favorite pie?) that is also in the play. Then she threw out the idea for a trailer that involved a meat grinder! Why not play up the Grindhouse aspect of this play? We gathered some pie, some fake body parts, Jen Mickelson's teeth (yes, those are her real wisdom teeth saved from their extraction years prior!), a pork loin and a video camera. Then, she recruited her buddies at Ready Freddy Films to help with editing. Enjoy! (Oh, and book tix, while you can!) And today, I am not prepared. It's my own fault - which can make the feelings of guilt, anger, and sadness that much harder to deal with. There's an opportunity today for an audition at a company I would love to work with, but I'm not attending the audition. I put it on my calendar weeks ago as a reminder to prepare something for it specifically, but as the days and weeks passed, it kept getting pushed further and further back on the 'to-do' list. (You may have skimmed my last post about "Procrastination"...) Part of the issue is my preparation for Tamora in Titus Andronicus. We preview exactly one month from yesterday, and I'm still not off-book. Technically our 'off-book' deadline is this coming Sunday, but I know from experience that the sooner I can have the words cleanly in my mind and body, the sooner I am able to embody the role & live in the moment on stage (my personal goals as an actor). I don't know what's keeping me from preparing...from doing the work I know I should. And, of course, that lack of understanding is its own kind of procrastination and distraction. The snowball of thoughts starts to roll...Am I doing what I really 'want' to do? Am I wasting my time pursuing a career that has no stability? Do I have any talent at all? Should I just resign myself to a desk-job and volunteer somewhere on the weekends to feel useful to society? Why didn't I just do what I KNOW I needed to do and then I wouldn't feel like this! Why don't I have the 6-8 monologues always at the ready so I can drop what I'm doing and hit in audition at ANY time? Did I learn anything in school? Have I learned anything from 11 years in Chicago? Does anyone even think I have talent? Am I only working because people think I'm dependable (which, obviously, I'm not right now!) and most actors are flakes?!? Yes, it jumps that quickly and that deeply into self-doubt,through self-judgement, and towards self-hate. And this is where the more philosophical questions come into play. Is this the depression talking? Is it "just" PMS? (I put "Just" in quotes because many folks don't seem to understand that it is a REAL condition. Not every woman suffers from it, but those that do know that it can have very real effects on your physical, mental, and emotional state.) If I lay back down and cover my head will it all be better tomorrow? Because if it IS depression or PMS or both, what the fuck am I supposed to do? How do I push through it? Can I? Do I seriously have to wait until it passes before I can DO ANYTHING? So instead of preparing, I freeze myself into this world of fear and anger and frustration, until I feel physically ill. My friend Jack often suggests: Forgive yourself, but don't let yourself off the hook. That first step is the hardest for me. *Quote by Louis Pasteur (Some say it's "Chance" rather than "Fortune" but I agree with the sentiment) I found out yesterday that a man I worked with on a show almost exactly one year ago died. He was killed by depression. Some would say 'he committed suicide', but I prefer to place the blame where it belongs: the disease.
My thoughts are still a jumble about the man who played my husband in one scene, and religious tormentor in another, but I do KNOW that every time someone compliments my black & white fedora, I will remember him with a smile. Many people have commented on it over the past year, and I've always been quick to say it was from a dear friend who gave it to me 'just because'. See, I often wore my black fedora to rehearsal & performances, and John came across one that had a knit top, with a white snowflake design, that happened to match EXACTLY the snowflake design on my mittens. And he bought it for me. Because. Because he was a giver, a kind soul. Another of the pastimes he did was attend marathons as a spectator, holding out Twizzlers, and wearing a shirt that said "Free Hugs", which he gave willingly, lovingly and openly. After hearing of his passing, I was walking down a snow-covered sidewalk to an appointment yesterday, and a couple of guys waiting for the bus caught my attention. I thought perhaps they would compliment my hat, thus assuring me Walski's energy was still around. It was better than that - the one guy complimented my boots and asked where I got them, then he pulled me into a quick, gentle hug. (No, he didn't pickpocket me, or grope me or anything like that!) And I knew that I had been given the gift of a free hug from an unexpected place. Thanks, Walski. And who would have thought, but Buzzfeed, of all places, put together this list that I think is worth reading and sharing. Things Nobody Tells You About Being Depressed I've had more thoughts than time to type thoughts lately but I'm going to postpone my ramblings a little more and use this space for my Holiday Greeting! The photo cards have been ordered and will be handed out/mailed soon (I hope!) but I decided to save some trees and put my usual 'update letter' in blog form instead of including it in my holiday cards...so here goes... (plus this way I could add some bonus photos in the montage below*) This time last year I was in the funk of all funks and did not decorate for Christmas nor send cards. I was in probably the worst depression ever (at least I hope it never gets worse than that!) and I had just started therapy and was awaiting a prescription for an anti-depressant. (Trying to get into a doctor over the holidays ain't easy, friends!) It's one year later and I'm astounded, amazed, and encouraged by the changes in my attitude, demeanor, and overall state of mental health. As we learned from many famous people dying this year, depression can literally be a killer - if you are feeling the weight of the gorilla, do yourself a favor: share your fears (they become less powerful that way) and seek out & accept help. It ain't easy (you don't have to tell me!) but you can do it. After getting through the initial adjustments, 2014 proved to be a banner year for me professionally and one full of changes & forward movement personally. I decided to get my finances together, as living paycheck to paycheck was adding to the stress & depression. Step one was to change my living situation - I had been in my own, amazing & wonderful one-bedroom apartment for nearly 3 years, but utilities had gone up and I wasn't putting money in the savings account like I wanted to be. Enter Leigh Barrett: fabulous friend, amazing artist (lighting designer extraordinaire and Artistic Director of Babes With Blades Theatre Company), and a damn good cook. She was also looking to downsize her monthly bills so when our respective leases came up, we found a groovy 2-bedroom apartment in a neighborhood we both liked and have made the transition. (*Me with Leigh's cat, chillin' on the couch) Incidentally, since doing so, I've paid off my car loan (1 year early, YEAH!) and increased my monthly savings...not to mention taken a trip to Scotland (*there were so many great pics but I just chose one for now)! Acting highlights this year included performing in 5, yes FIVE, shows, starting with Promethean Theatre Ensemble's production of The Lark directed by my good friend, mentor, and personal theatrical guru, Jack Lewis (truly, this guy inspires & humbles me in equal measure on a regular basis). I met some amazing folks and got to learn about fabulous women of history. (*My costume & the Inquisitors were the perfect holiday colors, so we decided to make our own 'family photo' for the Christmas cards this year). After that, I jumped into the insane world of L'Imbecile with my beloved Babes and channeled my inner Moe (*see our post-apocolytic neo-commedia version of the 'Stooges'). At the same time, I understudied with Theatre at the Center for "Miracle on South Division Street" and had the great fortune of performing the role of Bev (*she was a bowling fanatic!). After that insanity, I dropped into the role of a lifetime with the Babes' world premiere production of Witch Slap! by Jeff Goode. Playing Crone was definitely a highlight of my year and I hope to reprise the role many, many times before I'm - ahem - too old for it! (*backstage was crazy in its own right - I really don't give a damn about my reputation!) Finally, closing out the year (and the show itself tonight!) is Hotel Aphrodite. I'd previously not had the chance to play with any of the folks of The Factory Theatre and I was super stoked to get the call from Matt Engle to play an "uptight virgin T.W.A.T. from downstate Illinois". Oh the innuendo...(*Opening night party fun) My beloved Babes have also had an exciting year - we raised a bunch of money on IndieGoGo for our Fighting Words new play development program and used it to develop 4 (FOUR) new scripts this year (3 more are on the way next year!). If you were able to help us out - special loving kudos to you! Every dollar helps! For. Real. We added some wonderful ladies to the ensemble and worked with lots of folks we hadn't had the chance to work with previously. We are gearing up for a strong 2015 (rehearsals for an All Female production of Titus Andronicus kick off on January 5th) and I couldn't be prouder of my theatrical home. You can like us on Facebook to keep up with all the latest news & pics if you are into that sort of thing. iGive is still my wonderful, inspiring, fabulous place of employment. We are continuing to grow and get the word out (BTW, if you use Amazon Smile, you'll love iGive! We work with Amazon AND 1500+ other stores that allow you to donate to your favorite charity.) We recently hired a Marketing Manager and I now head a 'team' of folks so the job is growing and changing & teaching me lots about myself. "But Kim, what do you do in your spare time?" - besides laugh at that question, this year I was able to get out & about quite a few times. I saw some amazing concerts (including Aerosmith, Slash, Guided by Voices, Styx, Foreigner), a wonderful night of comedy (*Eddie Izzard is AMAZING!), many, many theatrical productions by fabulous friends & colleagues, watched my brother get married, hosted Thanksgiving dinner with friends...and took a trip to SCOTLAND! But that's a whole 'nother blog post (or at least it will be once I get around to it). My personal 'resolution' is to take a bit more time during the madness of day-to-day life to reflect & enjoy - just typing up this little year-end wrap up has filled me with a huge sense of gratitude. I can only imagine how great I could feel if I remembered in the moment, how wonderful life really is! 2015 is already shaping up to be a wonderful year and I hope it brings blessings & joy to you and yours! #TamoraRAWR may only be a thing in my head, but someone else created an art-form of Shakespearean characters and their #hashtags.
Kudos to Good Tickle Brain for being so clever & funny! Yesterday was 'the' day. I work for iGive.com, which is an online shopping portal that allows members to donate a portion of whatever they spend to the charity of their choice. It's awesome! And, for my job, it's basically retail/sales/marketing. And yesterday was Cyber Monday. It was also the first day of the week (as Monday tends to be!). And the first day of the month. And, The Factory Theater had a special Monday night Industry show for Hotel Aphrodite. "Busy" is not the word for my day yesterday. I looked up synonyms and Thesaurus.com suggested the following that I found much more appropriate: persevering swamped diligent overloaded engrossed engaged working hustling and, my fave - occupied. Luckily, this super busy day was also filled with good feelings. I felt accomplished: I was able to keep the inbox under control all day. I felt useful: my job truly allows me the opportunity to make a difference, albeit indirectly, with thousands of charities & causes across the US & Canada. I felt triumphant: the performance was not one of my personal best (how on earth did I forget my pearl necklace?!?!) but the audience was over-the-moon enthusiastic. So, today is about recuperating. And catching up on the things that weren't 'emergencies' yesterday. And prepping for the rest of the week. And month. And year. And it's also about laundry. The holiday shopping season is truly underway, so 10 hour days will be the norm for a while...as will checking in on Saturdays & Sundays...along with the regular run of the show...and hitting auditions when possible...and fundraiser events...and a Babes' Fighting Words reading...but, hey, ya know what? I got this. They like us! They really like us! First off, this show is a blast to DO. The fact that reviewers and audiences seem to be enjoying themselves as well is a huge bonus. I was frustrated on Sunday when I arrived (late) for our first matinee and was ready to hide in a corner and wallow in my 'blahness' until my first entrance. Within 15 minutes of arriving at the theatre, I was laughing and joking with my wonderful cast mates. It's always nice (and sometimes equally aggravating!) to know that you absolutely can not sustain a bad mood around certain folks. So, if you get a chance, come on out and we'll do our best to snap you out of whatever may be bringing you down. Sick of the early onset of winter? Dreading the credit card bills after holiday shopping/travel? Annoyed already by family visits? Take a couple of hours and check in to the Chateau Amantius for some rollicking good times - no need to take my word for it, either - check out the Reviews page! Show runs Fridays, Saturdays at 8:00pm and Sundays at 3:00pm. Special Monday Industry night on 12/1. Must close 12/20 - get your tix now! Pursuing a career in acting is not like any other profession (feel free to replace "acting" with any other artistic pursuit like singing, painting, poetry, etc.). To understand the amount of differences, let's look at the process of embarking down a career path: Education/training: These are important though there's zero agreement on what type of education/training is better or more likely to land you a job. Unlike, say getting a degree from the right law school, there's very little guarantee that getting into the right conservatory program will actually guarantee you the skills & contacts you need to land a paying job. (And by paying, I'm including the elusive golden ring of acting we call 'a living wage' which I'll define personally as being able to pay rent, buy food, and treat myself to an annual mani/pedi with the income earned from only that professional pursuit, and not the mish-mash of several 'jobs'). Interviews: You will be prepared but you will still be nervous. You will have your materials ready - your resume, your portfolio, your witty comebacks for every possible iteration of the "what do you see as your biggest strength and your biggest weakness" question. We call these auditions and as nerve-racking as you think a regular job interview is, multiply it by 100, because chances are you'll head out on auditions about 100 times more than the average career will require you to interview (unless you happen to be Katie Couric, in which case you are the interviewer and no the interviewee which is a whole other ball of wax). New job training/orientation: For your typical job, someone hands you a manual, or someone who's leaving the job may train you in what they 'typically do'. You can also take some time to figure out how you will make the job your own. Most managers will understand that you may need to make a few mistakes the first time you complete a process, but expect the amount of mistakes made to reduce each time you complete the process. Actors rehearse - and we have a different manager (read: director) for almost every new job. While most actors have a process (I hope!), there's no real instruction manual for the job of rehearsing. Every role has different challenges - for this one it might be line memorization, for another it might be remembering which of 6 doors on set you enter at which time in the show, for another it might be making your on-stage love triangle believable when in reality you have no chemistry whatsoever with your cast-mates off-stage. Evaluation: Every dreads the annual review: someone who knows very little about what you do on a day-to-day basis judges your performance of a job based on criteria that may or may not have anything to do with your abilities or efforts, or even what you are attempting to accomplish. This is typically your Manager. When I read this description, I realize that there is quite a bit of overlap at this juncture, except we call them "Reviewers". And they happen (hopefully) more than once a year. And they are public. |
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September 2018
Kimberly Logan
This is my blog (aka: mind dump). For my full site, please visit www.ActorForHire.net Categories
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