Gratitude has been on my mind lately. A good friend of mine and I have a daily email exchange called the "Lovely List", wherein we list 5-10 (or more!) things each day that we are grateful for. It's a wonderful practice and I find that on days when I forget, or I get her email and realize I haven't come up with my list, it forces me to pause in my day. I've noticed I don't do that often...I zone out. I shut down. But I don't pause.
To me, a pause requires you to stay present and aware and thoughtful (or mindful as some spiritual readings call it). I will waste time on facebook for 20 minutes. Or tune into "Charmed" on Netflix while I'm eating lunch (judge all you want - I'm working on a show about witches and it's officially research). But I rarely pause during the day to contemplate the world around me. Having this "Lovely List" reminds me that I like the smell of freshly cut grass, I enjoy the sound of kids laughing, a cup of tea can be a real treasure, and appreciating a roof over my head is a valid point when compared to so many others. Another friend has started a #SayItNow campaign, reminding people that if you don't express your gratitude, the other person has no way of knowing your appreciation for them. That keeps them from sharing in the mutual joy that gratitude can create.
Last week, several folks showed gratitude to me in unexpected ways. First, I got a Thank You note from my new sister-in-law. Yes, it's general etiquette to send a thank-you to wedding guests, but this one included a gift for me! She sent me a variety of teas that will keep me stocked well into the Fall. The same day, my roommate bought me a gift certificate for a pedicure at the local spa. The note says "the best roomie", which I'm not sure is me, but if she feels that way, I'm not gonna argue. Later that week, I got a flower delivery. Beautiful gladiolus are in bloom in my living room because I put forward a friend's name for a position that was opening up at my day job. She didn't get the job, but appreciated the opportunity so much that she sent me flowers! These were all completely unexpected and wonderful - and I was able to be receptive to the positive energy my friends were putting out to the world.
In the spirit of this whole idea, I started texting my 12-year-old niece "Today I'm grateful for..." texts and asking her what she was grateful for each day. Her first response was "I haven't fought with Moll yet." (Moll is her younger sister.)
Guess you've got to start somewhere!