Probably it's the lengthening of my body for the front crawl stroke...which is great, because I've not been pushing myself too hard, so my stamina levels are a huge disappointment to me right now (15 minutes and fluctuating between 14 & 16 laps in that time is my current level). Feeling a difference in my body's physicality, even if it's not yet apparent in the way my clothes fit, has been good for me yesterday and today.
Especially since today started the cravings...(This is the PMS section)
There's something magical about being a woman. The female body is truly amazing and wonderful and I'm usually quite happy with my soul's choice at being a woman this time 'round. But damn, the menstruation cycle can be annoying. It took me years to figure it out - the term 'cycle' is misleading as it indicates some sort of regular thing, that is the same every time it comes around. It's not. Not even a little.
Some things are similar and can be anticipated, though. For instance, I'm about a 4 days from my scheduled start time (sorry if that's TMI - but I did warn you) and I want to eat everything. I constantly have the munchies. I constantly feel full and still want to eat. It's a compulsion. I don't always have specific cravings (though sometimes it's anything sweet) but I do have that smoker's habit/oral fixation for needing to move my hand toward my mouth. The strength of the craving sensation is unpredictable, but the sensation itself is a pretty reliable part of my personal PMS.
This is also the time that I start feeling lethargic. Real lethargic. I want to sleep all day - I have trouble physically keeping my eyes open. Some people get scatter-brained, I just zone out. I tend to sleep well through the night (thank God!) but still wake with no energy. (When I started feeling this way and it wasn't yet my period, I started worrying about health & such, but now I'm wondering if it's just my PMS adjusting as I age)
As you can imagine, these two things are not conducive to my current #TamoraRAWR goals. I'm trying to remain positive and keep focused, while also being conscious of where I am physically and emotionally, and honoring what my body needs right now. I still went to the gym yesterday (I really DIDN'T want to!) and I bought grapes (if you're gonna snack, snack healthy, right?) and SnapPeas and when I 'feel' full, I'm doing my best to put the fork down. Tomorrow I'm hoping to hit a class at the gym for the first time in a long while - I may end up coming home & napping for longer than the class was, but damnit, I'm gonna work out first.
I had a really good session of voice work today and I'm glad I'm prepping early for Tamora. It wasn't until last night that I felt good about my work in Hotel Aphrodite, and I know it's because I didn't do my major homework early enough in the process. After doing the homework, I felt a huge difference in my connection to the character and the style, but also in my confidence to play & have fun. Unfortunately, my creative juices and the 'aw fuck it' attitude that allows me to really let go don't usually show up until the few days after my period, so I guess we'll have to wait a little to see how crazy Fanny Tinderbox really might end up being...only time will tell.